Why you should punch anyone who calls themselves a “job creator” in the throat

It’s a favourite euphemism of conservative politics to refer to business owners and corporations as “job creators”. Like many such things, it’s a clever, insidious and particularly nasty piece of manipulation designed to make employees feel indebted to those who purchase their time, creativity and labour.

The next time you hear someone refer to themselves as a job creator, feel free to punch that condescending, lying sack of shit right in the throat and stand over their gasping prostrated body while reminding them that you’re not fucking stupid enough to fall for that shit.

Companies do not exist to create jobs. They have never existed to create jobs. Jobs are defined within corporate accounting as an expense. Companies consider expenses to be inherently bad and every effort should be made to eliminate them entirely. If elimination is not possible, then minimisation is the next desirable step.

Companies do exist to generate profits. They only exist to create profits. It’s essentially negligent for a company to fail to deliver value to shareholders. Profits are achieved by selling more of whatever the fuck it is they sell (all companies are sales companies). Profits are maximised by matching sales growth with utterly minimised costs.

Therefore it is in a company’s interest to seek to gain as much work as possible for the smallest cost possible in order to generate the largest profit possible.

This means that any company that is even slightly well-run will seek to avoid adding employees to the payroll for as long as possible. Companies are not at all waiting for the dreamy day when “government red-tape” will make it easier to hire new staff. They don’t want new staff. They want their current staff to feel afraid and guilty and indebted to the company for deigning to give them a job in the first place.

Every job ever created by a company is created grudgingly and only after the company has endured so much hardship that it’s convinced it has to create a new job.

“Job creator” is just an attempt by conservatives to put a pretty ribbon on the ugly fact that companies don’t give a fuck about their employees, but they sure as shit want their employees to give a fuck about them and their tax benefits.

2 Responses to “Why you should punch anyone who calls themselves a “job creator” in the throat”

  1. Why you should punch anyone who calls themselves a “job filler” in the throat

    It’s a favourite euphemism of conservative politics to refer to employees as “job fillers”. Like many such things, it’s a clever, insidious and particularly nasty piece of manipulation designed to make employers feel indebted to those who supply their time, creativity and labour.

    The next time you hear someone refer to themselves as a job filler, feel free to punch that condescending, lying sack of shit right in the throat and stand over their gasping prostrated body while reminding them that you’re not fucking stupid enough to fall for that shit.

    Employees do not exist to fill jobs. They have never existed to fill jobs. Jobs are something employees do to get money. Employees consider working to be inherently bad and every effort should be made to eliminate it entirely. If elimination is not possible, then minimisation is the next desirable step.

    Employees do exist to enjoy life. They only exist to enjoy life. It’s essentially negligent for an employee to fail to enjoy life. Life is enjoyed by accumulating as much money as possible (all employees need money). Work is minimized by matching wages growth with utterly minimised work.

    Therefore it is in an employee’s interest to seek to gain as much money as possible for the least work possible in order to generate the largest amount of life enjoyment possible.

    This means that any employee that is even slightly intelligent will seek to avoid adding work to their lives for as long as possible. Employees are not at all waiting for the dreamy day when “government red-tape” will make it easier for them to do more work. They don’t want more work. They want their current employer to feel afraid and guilty and indebted to the worker for deigning to give them labor in the first place.

    Every job ever performed by an employee is done grudgingly and only after the employee has endured so much hardship that they’re convinced they have no choice but to work for a living.

    “Job filler” is just an attempt by conservatives to put a pretty ribbon on the ugly fact that employees don’t give a fuck about their employers, but they sure as shit want their employers to give a fuck about them and their tax benefits.

    [You're right, but it works both ways. Cheers.]

    • entendered Says:

      It’s an interesting point, except it doesn’t work both ways because there’s an inherent imbalance of income, profits, privileges and power in play, all falling to the side of corporate entities, whose needs are given much freer reign at the expense of real, live people.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 154 other followers

%d bloggers like this: