Why you should punch anyone who calls themselves a “job creator” in the throat
It’s a favourite euphemism of conservative politics to refer to business owners and corporations as “job creators”. Like many such things, it’s a clever, insidious and particularly nasty piece of manipulation designed to make employees feel indebted to those who purchase their time, creativity and labour.
The next time you hear someone refer to themselves as a job creator, feel free to punch that condescending, lying sack of shit right in the throat and stand over their gasping prostrated body while reminding them that you’re not fucking stupid enough to fall for that shit.
Companies do not exist to create jobs. They have never existed to create jobs. Jobs are defined within corporate accounting as an expense. Companies consider expenses to be inherently bad and every effort should be made to eliminate them entirely. If elimination is not possible, then minimisation is the next desirable step.
Companies do exist to generate profits. They only exist to create profits. It’s essentially negligent for a company to fail to deliver value to shareholders. Profits are achieved by selling more of whatever the fuck it is they sell (all companies are sales companies). Profits are maximised by matching sales growth with utterly minimised costs.
Therefore it is in a company’s interest to seek to gain as much work as possible for the smallest cost possible in order to generate the largest profit possible.
This means that any company that is even slightly well-run will seek to avoid adding employees to the payroll for as long as possible. Companies are not at all waiting for the dreamy day when “government red-tape” will make it easier to hire new staff. They don’t want new staff. They want their current staff to feel afraid and guilty and indebted to the company for deigning to give them a job in the first place.
Every job ever created by a company is created grudgingly and only after the company has endured so much hardship that it’s convinced it has to create a new job.
“Job creator” is just an attempt by conservatives to put a pretty ribbon on the ugly fact that companies don’t give a fuck about their employees, but they sure as shit want their employees to give a fuck about them and their tax benefits.